Most of us search for ways to make our marriages and our lives better. Sometimes problems come out of nowhere causing us to shift our focus away from making things better, to merely trying to save things. Often it seems the more we try to save one, we lose our grip on the other. It feels as though saving one and, in the process losing the other, is still losing.
The following 5 tips will benefit both your life and marriage. It may sound impossible, but it isn’t. If you apply these 5 tips, your perspective will change in ways that improve both your life and your marriage.
1. Calm Down and Handle One Problem at A Time
No matter how much you may believe in your ability to do many things at once, there will be a point when tasks will overwhelm you. When dealing with problems, focus on one thing at a time with a calm mindset.
2. Fight with Purpose
Usually, we will fight for things we are passionate about. There’s nothing wrong with having strong opinions, but the stronger our beliefs, the more we will walk over or ignore the opinions of others. In a marriage that means you disregard the opinions of your spouse and insist on your own way. Fighting with purpose means you look at the bigger picture and seek an outcome that works for both of you.
3. Allow Your Spouse to Have a Voice
Many times, you respect other people’s views more than you respect the voice of your own spouse. Often the answer to some of the problems you are personally facing will be solved (or move towards a solution) through your spouse. I’ve noticed personally and professionally, that making decisions without consulting one’s spouse is a great way to have things go wrong.
4. Don’t Lose Your Voice
Getting angry at your spouse will not make things improve – it will, sooner or later, make things worse and cause your marriage to end. Conversely, being the voice of reason doesn’t mean you must be passive. You are just ensuring the best decision will be made.
5. Don’t Be a Lone Ranger
Don’t try to figure your marriage out on your own. If you and your spouse can’t find the answer together, seek help. Then discuss the matter again with your spouse before making a decision. If you cannot reach agreement, maybe you need to wait a while or break the decision into smaller parts. Making major decisions without the support of your spouse will often lead to a bad outcome and cause resentment and pressure on the relationship.
The more of these you make a part of your marriage – the more likely your marriage is to be a relationship worth being in!
