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Am I a Failure?

Once upon a time there was a master painter and he had completed his life’s masterpiece – It was perfect!

One day his patron came to visit him, and asked “Why have you not yet framed your masterpiece?”

“Because it is not yet finished,” he replied.

Weeks passed and the masterpiece continued to sit in the corner of the studio silently observing its Master and slowly accumulating dust. The next time his patron visited, she saw the masterpiece in the corner and again inquired when it would be finished. In a burst of impatient energy, the Master leapt up from his easel, grabbed a brush, ran to the masterpiece and added a small red dot.

“Voila,” he exclaimed, “Finished!”

Have you heard the saying, “Perfect is the enemy of good?” It means that sometimes we feel unless we can do something perfectly, it’s better not to attempt it at all.

I regularly see clients who feel they’d rather not try because then they can’t fail. I challenge them with coaching questions like:

  • Is failure a person?
  • Is failing something you do, or someone you are?
  • Which of these represents failure? The person who tries and fails or the person who never tries.
  • How does feeling and thinking you are a failure help you?

The following questions can help overturn you feeling you are a failure:

  • Do you feel like a failure?
  • Does feeling like a failure mean that you are a failure?
  • Can you learn without failing?
  • Does failing at something you do, make you a failure as a person?
  • Can you think of anyone who has never failed at anything?
  • Did you try and fail?
  • If you have tried and failed (i.e. the outcome was not what you expected) does that mean … you’re a failure as a person, or you have tried and failed at something?
  • Isn’t a failure someone who never tries?
  • Aren’t you a hero because you tried?
  • What was your greatest moment? “My greatest moment was when I ___________ (insert what you did here!)”
  • How do you feel about this statement … “A hero is someone who rides out to battle, is defeated and returns home victorious?”

Remember you are only a failure if you choose to be!

About David Lawson

Finding the Light is a locally owned and operated counselling and life coaching business based in Bundaberg. We seek to empower our clients to find their way forward to a better life by using the approaches of counselling or coaching. If this blog article has raised more questions please contact us by email or call us on 0407 585 497 to arrange a time for us to discuss the article. Mention this blog and we will give you a FREE 30 minute session to discuss.

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