Call: 0407 585 497 Contact Us


Getting out of the Drama Triangle

Last Blog I spoke about the Drama Triangle and the three roles in it. (Rescuer, villain and victim). Living in the drama triangle is not fun and can be quite draining. So how do you get out of it?

Create Self-awareness

The first step to escape the Drama Triangle is to be aware of the role you are playing and to not take one of the three roles.

To create awareness, ask questions such as: What role you are playing in the Drama Triangle? How long you have been playing that role? How is it serving you? Is this role where you’d like to be? If not, what can you do to change it? What are the actions you need to take to escape it?

Change and Get Help to Change

The next step after creating awareness is to put into action what you need to change. Making change and keeping it going can be challenging, as you are moving out of your ‘comfort zone’ into a place that will for a while be uncomfortable.

Having a coach, can help you to get clarity on your goals, empower you to plan actions, implement and your desired changes.

Adopt the Empowerment Triangle

The Empowerment Dynamic (TED) shifts the roles from the Victim, Rescuer, Persecutor to the Creator, Coach, and Challenger. This helps us to change our mindset, work towards desired outcomes, and generate greater awareness.

In the Empowerment Triangle:

  • Victims change to Creators, who focus on outcomes, rather than problems. Creators get clarity over the outcomes they are trying to create in their life, and take responsibility for initiating actions to achieve those desired outcomes.
  • Rescuers take on the role of Coaches, who are compassionate and believe in Creators. They empower Creators by helping them develop goals and action plan through inquiry. Coaches encourage challenge and support individuals to create their own solutions, instead of solving the problem for them.
  • Persecutors adopt the role of Challengers, who challenge assumptions and status quo and focus on growth and development. They hold Creators accountable for taking actions and making progress, they lift people up instead of criticizing or blaming.

To make the shift is not easy – but until you do so, your life will always have chaos and drama in it.

Reach out to me if you want to get out of your drama triangle.

Adapted from


About David Lawson

Finding the Light is a locally owned and operated counselling and life coaching business based in Bundaberg. We seek to empower our clients to find their way forward to a better life by using the approaches of counselling or coaching. If this blog article has raised more questions please contact us by email or call us on 0407 585 497 to arrange a time for us to discuss the article. Mention this blog and we will give you a FREE 30 minute session to discuss.

We do Skype Appointments

Is distance a problem? If you live in another city, state, or country (yes, we do have overseas clients), we offer appointments via Skype or phone.


Pin It on Pinterest