Have you been Ghosted?
Do you know what being Ghosted is? To be ghosted means to have someone suddenly end all communication and contact with you, without any warning, explanation, or closure. The person “vanishes” like a ghost.
Whether it was you or a friend, the pain of being ghosted was intense and at times quite puzzling.
Why can’t someone just move on from being ghosted? After all, the message is clear, “I don’t want a relationship with you.”
In essence, being “ghosted” is the modern form of the “silent treatment” – disappearing from someone’s life without a goodbye.
Ghosting is a huge disruption to your life.
To move on from being ghosted you need to address the reasons it hurts so much.
- Stop ruminating
Ghosting leaves a lot of unanswered questions, such as What happened? Was it me? Your mind will just replay these repeatedly.
What are the facts? What are three reasons (nothing to do with you) you are not hearing from them? Counter the negative thoughts with statements like I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect me? or There is someone better for me out there.
- Hang out with good people
Connecting with people you trust and who respect you, will help counter the hurt from being ghosted.
Remove any means the person can use to contact you. (Part of you will keep checking your messages hoping for a message from them.)
- Remind yourself of who you are
Ghosting causes us to condemn ourselves.
Make two lists. Achievements and compliments you have received from people you trust and respect (10-15 for each list).
If you find this hard to do on your own, talk it over with family or friends. They can help you see yourself in a positive light.
Once you have these two lists, carry them around with you to remind yourself of their truth.
- Look after yourself
The pain of being ghosted can cause us to do things that aren’t healthy for us – like overeating, over drinking, not eating or engaging in high-risk behaviour.
Therefore, it is important to get enough sleep, eat healthy, avoid too much alcohol, exercise, hang out with good people and avoid social media.
You can’t control whether someone ghosts you, but you can take charge of moving on. When you understand why ghosting hurts so much and how to close the loop yourself, you take back your power.
