No matter how you slice it, the breakup of a relationship usually leaves at least one person asking, how did this happen? The people who ask this question often are the ones who failed to recognise the warning signs that pointed to a relationship in jeopardy. The reasons can range from being too involved to being too detached.
The insight and wisdom you gain from this experience usually comes too late save that relationship. So how can you identify the problem in its beginnings and take steps to avoid this happening again? Below are some common relationship mistakes to be aware of:
1. Cultivating false expectations
Nobody is perfect, and yet, for some reason we expect people in our life to be that. When they don’t turn out to be the way you thought they should be, you become disappointed and wonder what you ever saw in them. Nothing wrong thinking highly of someone, but remember, that they, just like you, can make mistakes. The earlier you understand this, the better you will be handling their shortcomings when they arise.
2. Assuming they will never change
The only constant thing in this world is change. This applies to people. The person you now know will probably be different in five years’ time (you as well). Events and people in their life will affect how they are as a person. Whether you like it or not, the people in your life will go through changes and you should be prepared for that.
3. Leaving out interests and friends for that person
Some people assume that for a relationship to grow strong, they need to focus all their attention and energy on that one person. Usually, what happens is that they lose time for other people in their lives, shutting them out. It will only be a matter of time when the person you’ve put so much time on will feel smothered and want to take time off from you (or want more of you). When that happens, you’ll find that there is hardly anyone to catch you because you’ve left all the others out.
4. Believing that you need a relationship to become a complete person
Develop the attitude that you can stand on your own two feet and that you are complete regardless of whether you are in a relationship or not. Do not expect someone else to make you complete as if you do, you are placing huge expectations on the other person, leaving you jaded and unsatisfied. Be in control of your needs and learn to be satisfied with who you are. Relationships are meant to enrich something that is already complete to begin with.
Being aware of these warning signs and taking the effort to change can save you a lot of disappointment and grief. They have the potential improve your relationships with others, which can lead to a fuller, more satisfying life for everyone concerned.
