It can be easy to overlook subtle signs of emotional abuse. Here are some signs of emotional abuse to look out for:
1. Lack of Privacy
Abusers don’t respect your need for privacy. To them, everything is their property especially your passwords. They will make it seem you are overreacting if you have a problem with their behaviour and accuse you of having something to hide should you set a limit.
2. Perpetual Blaming
Constant blaming is a significant red flag because you are always in a lose-lose situation. You feel defenceless and discouraged feel it is pointless to stand up for yourself when they’re telling you are wrong. If, you already struggle with low self-esteem, you will believe their accusations are true. And no matter how confident you feel, you end up believing them.
3. Emotional Coercion
Maybe your partner doesn’t make direct threats, but you feel like you must do what they want. If they don’t outwardly tell you to do something, you just know what you can and can’t do. For example, they might drop many comments about how much they dislike a certain friend of yours. As a result, you feel guilty spending time with that friend and start turning down their invitations.
4. Fake Apologies
Fake apologies include justifications and more blame. The abuser will use them to show remorse and attempt to move on. The apologies often lack substance or accountability. The abuser won’t recognise they have done anything wrong. Even if they do show some responsibility, they will be quick to defend their choice and still attack your character to protect their ego.
5. Contempt
Contempt can happen in a relationship when your partner looks down on you. In other words, they basically believe that they’re more intelligent or capable than you. As a result, they don’t respect you, which can lead to ongoing criticism, mocking, sarcasm, and insults.
6. Intentionally Triggering You
Does it seem like your partner or family member knows exactly which buttons to press to irritate you? An emotional abuser might intentionally trigger you by, acting as the relationship doesn’t matter to them or stirring the pot by discussing controversial issues when you’re with friends or family.
7. Forgetting Important Details
This is a classic subtle sign of emotional abuse. For example, when they don’t do something important, they will insist that you never told them about it. This behaviour is a form of gaslighting. Their comments are intended to make you second-guess yourself and question yourself.
8. Isolation
Isolation can feel like you’re trapped in prison and starts slowly. An emotional abuser might comment how they don’t want you working. They may even have a convincing argument. For example, they will emphasise how much they know you hate your job. They will also point out that you deserve better working conditions and pay.
9. Walking on Eggshells
Maybe you can’t quite put your finger on it, but you always feel anxious around your partner. You worry about saying or doing the wrong thing. You feel like their behaviour is unpredictable, and you’re always trying to gauge how they might react.
If any these sounds familiar, it could indicate that you’re in an abusive relationship.
Healthy relationships are built on a foundation of mutual trust and empathy- both parties should strive to be the best versions of themselves.
Subtle signs of emotional abuse rarely go away on their own. Once an abuser knows you aren’t going anywhere, they have little incentive to change their toxic behaviour.
Emotional abuse can quickly spiral and lead to other forms of sexual, financial, and physical abuse. In these instances, ending the relationship and avoiding all contact is your best strategy for moving forward.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to claim your healing and stop doubting yourself over your decision to restore your life.
