We are the common denominator in all areas of our life. Everything begins and ends with us being our best self. 

In his book Best Self Mike Bayer says if we are willing to do the work, and admit that there is work to do, we can become our Best Self.

Our genes and our upbringing shapes who we are. Often, people stop learning and questioning themselves at a certain point and simply coast through life. That is not your Best Self.

To start the process of getting to your Best Self, Bayer suggests doing an inventory of where you are now by identifying your current best and anti selves.

Write Your Traits: Write down all the best traits or characteristics of yourself that feel authentic to you. These should all be positive attributes.

Create Your Best Self: Using your traits create your Best Self. Is your Best Self a particular gender? An animal? A mystical creature? Write a full description of your Best Self. Be sure to give some “life coach” qualities (values and principles) to your Best Self character so that he or she can help you look out with clear focus.

Express Gratitude: Expressing gratitude is a great way to connect with your Best Self. Think of ten things that you are grateful for and write them down. Nothing is too insignificant for your list.

In addition to our Best Self, we all have an Anti-Self. These are the sides of us that get triggered by negative things. Identifying your Anti-Self characters is an exercise that can help you reduce the amount of time you spend in your Anti-Self. If you know the traits to look out for/avoid, you can better control yourself.

Identify Your Anti-Self Traits: Write down the traits that you consider to be your character flaws. Think about the last time you acted in a negative way and write about what happened.

Create Your Anti-Self: Look at your list of traits and create an exaggerated version of that self. It’s healthy to be able to laugh at ourselves. Create a clear, complete picture of your Anti-Self so you can easily predict what might trigger him or her to influence your behaviour. The better you understand your Anti-Self, the easier he or she will be to control.

Doing this exercise is not going make things instantly better, but they give you a starting point of where you need to start working on.

Next week I will share how to use what you have identified to start moving towards your Best Self.