Sometimes, we are not ready to make the changes we should make until we hit a wall in our relationship. When you hit the wall, you realise that you need to make a change do things differently or end the relationship.
When you hit the wall (before would be less painful) try these 7 tips.
1. ASAP stop focusing on the things your partner does you don’t like.
By continuing to focus on the things you don’t like you often miss the things you do like and why you want them in your life.
2. Stop focusing on the negatives.
Focusing on the negatives – what you don’t have, fear will happen or not getting only leads you to the negative. The more you focus on the negative, the more the negative will turn up in your life.
3. Remember what drew you to your partner.
By remembering what drew you to your partner, allows you reconnect with the happy times of your relationship. Reconnect to the experience of your relationship at its best to know exactly what you are fighting for.
4. Let go of the fears of the past that hold you back.
Doing the same thing over and over, holding grudges, reacting the same way to disappointment and frustration has not and will not help you get what you most desire. Unless you have very clear evidence, don’t put your current partner in the same box as your ex.
5. Create new memories.
Making new memories gives you both new things to talk about and do. Being in a relationship is not about being boring and doing the same things all the time (even if you both like them).
6. Make a list of all the things you are grateful or thankful for in your life.
If you don’t intentionally go looking for the good things in your life – guess what – you probably will not find any!
7. Life can be hard.
If life was easy people like me (counsellors and coaches) would be out of a job. We only get one chance at life! It is our choice to make it harder than it needs to be.
The more of these you do – the less you will need me in your life!
