Sometimes, things get out of balance. Often it is not just one thing but several areas that are not working together. If you and your partner are feeling out of balance, here are five areas to consider.
How connected you are
Throughout your relationship, the amount of time you spend together will ebb and flow. At times you are attached at the hip or barely see each other. Your level of emotional connection can vary as well, which means that more time spent together doesn’t necessarily mean feeling more connected. Maybe you’re feeling distant from each other, or you’re finding yourselves craving space to get things done. Consider whether increasing or decreasing the amount of time you have together will help you achieve a better sense of balance. Or is it more about being intentional and making the most of smaller pockets of time? What small steps or changes can you make together to work toward more balance?
Work and home life
This one can be a constant battle, especially for working parents. Remote working can blur the lines between work and home life. Are you feeling burnt out on work and like you never really turn “off”? Or are the demands of home life having a negative effect on your job performance? Not being in control makes things hard. Focus on the parts you can control and where you can adjust. Talk to your partner to figure out ways you can support each other – your work/life imbalance might be affecting them, too.
Your health
Living a healthy lifestyle is something we all need to aim for. Often eating right and staying active is one of the first things to fall to the bottom of the priority list. However, your health is actually one of the most important things that is taken for granted. If you’re feeling out of balance in this area, talk to each other about changes you can make as a couple to be healthier. Consider aspects such as whether you’re getting enough sleep, or if other areas of your life are impacting your health. Are there small changes you can make that have a positive effect on multiple areas of your life?
Your social life
Maybe you calendar is packed with social gatherings, and you’re feeling overwhelmed and over-extended. Or perhaps you’re on the other side, feeling lonely, isolated, or needing connection with friends. If you and your partner have different preferences when it comes to socialising, you might be trying to meet each other’s needs, which can also contribute to feelings of imbalance. Have a conversation about where you’re both at. Could you both benefit from some separate alone time or finding some new couple friends? Do you need to create a boundary on how many social events you commit to each month? Try to see the issue from multiple angles.
Personal balance
As we age, we get a better understanding of what drains us, fulfills us, and helps us be our best, all of which contributes to our own internal sense of balance. If you’re feeling out of balance personally, you might need to put a little extra effort into communicating with each other about your needs, as it may not always be obvious on the surface. Do you and your partner have similar or very different needs when it comes to feeling balanced? Are there ones that complement or conflict with each other? Get creative with solutions if you need to.
Through all of this, there are two things to remember:
- Communication is key. It’s likely that you and your partner will not be feeling out of balance in the same areas at the same time. And with the ways that each area interconnects with other areas of your life and relationship, you’ll need to be on the same page in order to make positive changes.
- Periods of imbalance are normal, sometimes necessary – and usually temporary. What’s most important is that you eventually get back to a state of balance, which is associated with higher levels of resilience.
What keeps you feeling balanced?
