I see long term intimate relationships as being in a team. Patrick Lencioni – the author of the book – The 5 Dysfunctions of a Team says teams tend to encounter the same issues repeatedly and they also apply to relationships I see. Dysfunction #1: Absence of Trust Lencioni points out, trust is one of those words that gets used so often that it has lost some of its meaning. He says that he intends it to mean “the confidence... read more

Why is it you’re not getting ahead? Are you having difficulty in finding opportunities, or could it be you’re not taking the opportunities when they come to you? Crazy as it sounds, the most common reason people don’t succeed is that they’re engaging in self-defeating behaviours. If you’re not performing at the level, you think you ought to be you might want to consider whether you have become your own worst enemy.... read more

Obstacles seem to make us stand still; and keep us from getting where we want to go. What if obstacles weren’t as bad as you thought? What if what you’re looking at is not so much an obstacle, as an opportunity? Here are 10 steps to change how we see obstacles: Take a Minute Whatever you’re doing when you hit the obstacle Stop. When you stop, you give yourself time to consider the options without all the emotions flaring up. You guard yourself... read more

People often ask me what things they can do, to keep their relationship alive and well. Here are ten ways you can do that. The more you do, the better your relationship will be. Build a culture of appreciation, respect, and tolerance. Live your days appreciating and showing your partner respect. What is the point of being in a relationship if you do not respect or appreciate your partner? Develop trust through sharing your innermost thoughts... read more

Last Blog I spoke about the Drama Triangle and the three roles in it. (Rescuer, villain and victim). Living in the drama triangle is not fun and can be quite draining. So how do you get out of it? Create Self-awareness The first step to escape the Drama Triangle is to be aware of the role you are playing and to not take one of the three roles. To create awareness, ask questions such as: What role you are playing in the Drama Triangle? How long... read more

In the last few months, a lot of my new clients have presented with grief and loss. For some it was a recent death in the family and for others the death was a few years ago. The more you love someone the more you will miss them when they are gone. The more you care for someone the more you will miss them when they are gone. Sometimes you do not know what you have until it is gone. So, if you are missing them heaps that suggests to me, they... read more