If everything goes well, your partner will romance you right back. But sometimes that doesn’t happen automatically. Let’s talk about some simple things you can do to get them on board and build (or rebuild) a romantic relationship together.
This is Important – Don’t Nag and Demand
Let’s start with the most important thing. Romance isn’t something you can force on another person. It must come from the heart. That means nagging or demanding your spouse to make romantic gestures won’t work.
Instead, it will result in resentment and stress. Starting a fight over getting the romance back isn’t going to help things. Accept that this isn’t something you can force and move on. Let’s talk about what you can do instead.
Take The First Step – Romance Is Contagious
Start by taking the first step and show your partner how much you love them. Be the person to make the romantic gestures, plan the date night or turn on your special song, light some candles and open a nice bottle of wine.
The idea is to get the ball rolling. Romance is contagious as is shows of affection. Get things started and don’t be surprised if your spouse reciprocates a few days later with some romance of their own. If it doesn’t happen right away, don’t give up. It may take a little while, but often you’ll get some love, appreciation, and romance back in some shape or form.
P.S if your aim in doing this is for sex, then be careful. Showing your affection is about your partner feeling appreciated not about you getting your needs met!
Let Your Appreciation Show
There’s something else you can do to get things moving toward a more romantic and affectionate relationship. Show appreciation for what your partner does. We have so much going on between work, raising kids and keeping the household running smoothly. Sometimes romance falls by the wayside and we are so stuck in a rut that we don’t feel like our partner appreciates everything we do. It’s hard to feel romantic when that happens.
Thankfully there’s a quick cure.
Show your appreciation. Tell your partner how much you appreciate what they do. Be specific. Tell your wife you know how hard it is to get up throughout the night to feed the baby and then run after your toddler all day. Let your husband know that you notice how hard he is working and how many extra hours he’s putting in at the office to make sure your family is well provided for.
Maybe It’s a Language and Communication Problem
You may think your partner isn’t showing you affection and isn’t being romantic, when in fact he or she is… it just happens to be in a different language.
Realise he or she might speak a different language of love. You may be looking for a long conversation or hearing words of affirmation, but your partner may be showing you how much he or she loves you with gifts or acts of service. Talk about the different languages of love and understand an appreciation for how the other one expresses love and affection. Then both of you show the other one just how much you love them in the language of love that means the most to them.
While you can’t force romance back into your life, making and effort and having a conversation about it will go a long way to make it happen.
Great relationships and marriages take work and effort. It isn’t easy to keep the spark and passion alive, but when you put in the work, it is well worth the effort. Your life will be richer, and your love will deepen over time. It is the true secret to a lasting marriage.
Romance is more than finding the perfect gift for your wedding anniversary or Valentine’s Day – but it will help you out there as well.
Roll up your sleeves, open your heart and show your partner that you love them in a way that they get!