A marriage that you may deem fractured may be repaired by simply doing a little mending to a broken heart that’s hurt and lonely. Often, a few minor things that go wrong in a relationship can fester into one big sore that only a doctor can remove.
Never underestimate the effect little thoughtless acts can have on a marriage whether newlyweds or mature couples.
Any marriage can get caught up in the day-to-day pressures of family and trying to make a living as you neglect the one person who’s vitally important; and that’s your spouse. Without him or her, excluding children of course, all the work and planning would be worth nothing. A fractured marriage may just require a little attention.
Spend quality time with each other. It’s easy to think you do but keep an honest record of the actual time you’re with your spouse and how much time you spend with friends, children, work and doing household chores. You may be surprised to find how little time you spend with your spouse, leaving one or both feeling badly neglected and unloved.
If too much of your time is being spent with friends and volunteer work, learn how to say no. Change these habits to being together with friends or volunteering to work on the same project together. Common goals create common interests which help a relationship bond.
Connect with each other every day with something meaningful and personal. Simple pleasures are often best such as a walk in the park. Listening to music together, go to a movie or concert, dress up and treat it like a date. Exercise together or ride a bike. With some of these things you gain health benefits along with the emotional.
You must talk with each other and communicate. Describe your feelings on a regular basis. Be descriptive and creative in your descriptions. Focus on your feelings rather than your thoughts and be honest. Share your good feelings along with the bad. If you’re apart, then send emails with your feelings. It may be easier to write them than say them.
When talking, give each other your undivided attention. Don’t watch TV or glance at a magazine while talking. Respond without being critical. Make eye contact. Hold hands. Smile and be supportive even if you don’t agree with everything being said.
Bring romance back into your life. Hug often and touch each other even if just in passing. As the old song goes, “Give me your hand when I cross the street, say I look nice when I’m not.” Yes, little things can mean a lot when it comes to healing a lonely heart. Tell your spouse you love him or her and think of different ways to say it, perhaps in a foreign language.
If your marriage has become boring and routine, be more spontaneous. Take a trip on the spur of the moment or at least drive to a nearby town to a romantic restaurant and sneak a kiss when no one is looking. Saving a fractured marriage can be as easy as getting out of your own little world and becoming a part of theirs.
