Unresolved conflict eats away at relationships like a big cancer. How you deal with conflict will mean it is resolved or it will get worse! In this article I have ten tips that if you implement then you will be able to resolve any conflict you part of.
However, these tips will not resolve anything unless those involved in the conflict want the conflict to be resolved. If you or your partner are secretly hoping that you will win, then congratulations the conflict will not be resolved and has the potential to make things worse.
These tips will work as long as you both want to end the conflict.
- Set time aside to discuss difficulties.
Trying to resolve a conflict when one or both of are upset is not going to work. It will only make things worse. Discussing when both of you are in a calm space will allow you both to air your concerns without it instantly going to conflict.
- Remember to respect the other person’s dignity and differences.
We are all different! What makes your opinion right? Why should your partner just accept your view? Why can’t you accept their view? Why is this issue important to them?
- When both of you are angry, respect the other person’s space.
Sometimes the other person may need some time out to regain composure. It’s not be a good idea to push them into continuing the discussion – it will just make the conflict worse.
- Let the other person finish conveying his/her point of view before jumping to your defence, otherwise the argument will escalate with no resolution.
There is no point in trying to resolve a conflict if you don’t allow the other person to let you know their why. This is about you understanding them, not forcing your views upon them.
- Always remember to listen patiently and to do your best to understand the situation from the other person’s point of view.
One of the reasons conflict happens is that we don’t listen or try to understand where the other person is coming from.
- Comment on the positive as well.
This will help the other person to be less defensive and to also understand your point of view.
- Issues with children need to be resolved when there is time for everyone to state their argument.
Avoid conflict early in the mornings when children are on their way to school or are tired and hungry. It’s okay for the parents to go away and talk about it in private and then come back to them with your answer.
- Give children time to air their grievances; they often have very valid points of view.
Yes, they are children but what if you are missing the point. What if you are hearing or seeing things wrongly?
- Admit when you are wrong, as this is a good model for children.
It is easy to just stand your ground and not budge on your opinion. If you genuinely want to end conflict at home, then you must be prepared to admit when you are wrong and say sorry.
- Find neutral ground to resolve conflict, where everyone feels comfortable.
A neutral space puts everyone in the same spot. This is not about having an advantage; this is about resolving conflict. Remember your relationship and family are at stake.
Need further help? Give me a call or 0407 585 497 or email at info@findingthelight.com.au
